


Re-Awakening (or How The Tale Twists)

by littlelamplight, wishfulthinkment



Series: Re-Awakening [2]
Category: Silent Witness (TV)
Genre: F/F, Raquel Lives: The Series, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-09-06 06:35:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16827124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlelamplight/pseuds/littlelamplight, https://archiveofourown.org/users/wishfulthinkment/pseuds/wishfulthinkment
Summary: Someone is patting her cheek, rather forcefully, and Eva becomes aware of a voice, shouting at her as if from a long way off, filtering through the haze of pain shrouding her senses, and she groans, trying to turn her head away from the touch. Everything feels like its burning, and there is an inferno contained in her left shoulder, somewhere below her collarbone, and she just wants to sleep.To go.[Eva is taken]





	Re-Awakening (or How The Tale Twists)

**Author's Note:**

> timeline: handwaved
> 
> I'm lowkey working on a fic project to make Raquel's filmography gayer: take the episode of whatever she was in, write fic to give her character a gf and take it from there.

Someone is patting her cheek, rather forcefully, and Eva becomes aware of a voice, shouting at her as if from a long way off, filtering through the haze of pain shrouding her senses, and she groans, trying to turn her head away from the touch. Everything feels like its burning, and there is an inferno contained in her left shoulder, somewhere below her collarbone, and she just wants to sleep.

To go.

To return to that unconscious bliss that left her unaware of her body.

But the hand patting her cheek doesn’t desist, and she recognises her own name.

“Eva! Eva, wake up!”

She blinks, and her eyelashes are almost crusted shut with tears, and what might be blood. The world seems blurred, at first, but eventually, Jack’s face comes into her field of vision, and she blinks at him.

“--Jack?”

She wonders if she imagines the relief in his face, but he stops patting her cheek at least. There is movement in her peripheral vision, and she cries out when something presses against the fire in her shoulder.

“Hang on, Eva”, he says, his voice urgent and ringing strangely in her ears, “you’ve been… shot.”

“Nikki”, she croaks, because she remembers driving to find Nikki, to rescue her, to fix everything, and she can’t remember how she ended up here, in this dilapidated shack that smells of blood and death, “--did I get her?”

“No,” Jack’s fingers press, and a groan leaves her lips, “but we’ll go get her together, okay? You’ve just got to hold on.”

Eva tries to turn her head, but pain explodes over her skull, and she groans again.

“Easy, Eva,” Jack says quietly, and he's such a strange man in so many ways. Talk and Muscles like the killers of the cartel, but kind in a way that doesn't match. “You were dealt quite the blow”

Some of her memories are beginning to trickle back into place. She can remember the car, remember Jack screaming at her to stop, and she whispers, “I didn't want to hurt her.”

Jack doesn't stop working on her shoulder, and he says quietly, “I know, Eva. I understand.”

“I wanted-- I offered myself, for my boy, but--” she inhales shakily, and she doesn't understand why it's so hard to breathe properly.

“It's alright, Eva.”

“No,” everything hurts, her breath coming in short, pained gasps, “no, I shouldn't have--”

“Eva, you need to calm down.” He presses something cool against her head, maybe to wipe the blood away, and it's easy to see that he's concerned. “I have to get something from the car. I'll be right back.”

Eva lies there, staring at the corrugated tin roof, and tries to focus on her body. Her ribs ache, a pressure that makes it hard to breathe-- she feels cold despite the heat and, when she tries to shift, blinding pain that lances across her body.

She frowns, trying to lift her head, but everything spins and her vision blurs.

A memory hits her - being pulled from the car and the hands on her skin, the way her own flesh smelled as it burned, and she's too dehydrated to cry anymore.

“Eva,” Jack kneels by her side to wrap a blanket around her body, as if he can shield her from the reality of what was done, “it'll be alright.”

He scoops her up slowly, almost gingerly, and she shakes her head. “You should leave me,” she croaks, “go get Nikki.”

“We'll get her together.”

“I can just tell you, Jack. Just leave me to--”

“You think Nikki would ever forgive me for that?” Jack smiles, and despite how stressed and strained she's seen him over the past few hours, it seems genuine. “Besides, I'm bad at remembering directions.”

She wants to protest. She doesn’t deserve to be saved, not after what she’s done, but she doesn’t have the energy to speak, and so she lets him carry her to the car, to prop her up in the seat beside him. He takes the time to buckle her seatbelt, and she really has no idea how he and Nikki survived here for so long.

The drive to Nikki is a blur. Jack tries to talk to her, to keep her conscious, talks about head wounds and concussions and asks her for detailed directions even though she’s already given them, but she’s slipping in and out. Every time she stirs to the pain in her body and the sun in her eyes, she wishes that she’d stayed unconscious, but Jack keeps telling her that Nikki needs their help, that she needs her, and so she tries to cling on.

The sun is too bright to watch him as he scrambles from the car, and so instead she closes her eyes, and lets herself drift. Her job is done, now. She got him to Nikki, and he’ll dig Nikki out, and Nikki will be fine.

Nikki will never forgive her, but she won’t be around to face her anger.

She’s dying, but Nikki is safe, her son is safe, and Luisa is alive to carry on her work if she wants.

She’s dying, but at least it wasn’t for nothing.

After everything she did to get her son back, after betraying Nikki and the very things she believes in, it’s almost a relief.

It’s taking so long. Her body hurts, her shoulder burns, and yet she shivers beneath the blanket as the sun beams down into her eyes. She wants the pain to be over, wants it to end, wants that oblivion that will ensure that she doesn’t have to think about her body or her pain or what happened to her, what she’s done, but her mind clings stubbornly to consciousness, and she’s so _tired._

“Eva?” There’s the sound of ragged breathing beside her, feet scuffling against sand, and damp hands on her face. “Eva?!”

“She got shot, Nikki,” Jack says, sliding back into the driver’s seat, and she’s not sure why he still sounds so stressed when Nikki is here, and alive. “We’ve got to go.”

The car door slams, and there’s the sound of tires screeching, and Nikki’s hands are pulling at her blanket to look at her wound and its not until she hears the woman swear violently that she remembers her other injuries. Her eyes are still closed, and she can’t see Nikki’s face, but she can hear the horror in her voice when she says, “you said she was shot, Jack. These look like--”

“Nikki, you haven’t had a sufficient supply of air for very long, okay? You need to calm down.”

“Don’t tell me to calm down when it looks like she’s been--”

“Nikki,” Eva finally manages to get her mouth to work, and her voice sounds like a croak. “--you alright?”

There’s a choked sound, like a laugh, but its raw and dry, and Eva remembers that she forgot to leave Nikki any water. “I’m okay,” Nikki says softly, her fingers gentle on her face, “try not to speak.”

Eva doesn’t have any tears left to cry, but her throat works, swallowing, and she manages, finally, to open her eyes. Nikki’s eyes are wide and concerned, and there’s sweat on her brow, dirt in her hair and on her skin, and Eva hears herself make a strangled sound. “I’m sorry,” she whispers, “I… Nikki, I’m so sorry.”

Nikki shakes her head, her brow furrowing tightly, and she shifts closer. Eva finds herself pressed too close to the woman, and if she had any strength left in her body at all, she’d pull away, because she doesn’t deserve the comfort Nikki is trying to give.

“It’s okay,” Nikki murmurs, “I’m alright now.”

Eva shakes her head, but the movement sends everything spinning, and a groan leaves her feeling empty and spent. Her head falls to Nikki’s shoulder, and Nikki’s arm is warm and tight around her back, holding her close as the car screeches down the road.

Eva wants to say more. To pull away, to apologise, to make things right, but everything is going dark, the world narrowed down to the hollow of Nikki’s throat, the smell of dirt and sweat and blood and all the suffering she caused, and she can’t fight it anymore.

* * *

“Eva?”

Eva tries to turn her head, but a gentle hand touches her cheek. “Don’t move your head, okay? You’ve gone through a… difficult surgery.”

Eva blinks. Her head feels heavy and full of fog, and she mumbles, “Nikki?”

There’s movement, the sound of metal scraping against the floor, and Nikki comes into view. She looks tired and concerned and so beautiful that Eva feels the backs of her eyes prick with tears. “Hey,” Nikki murmurs, her fingers returning to rest lightly on her cheek, “it’s good to see you awake.”

Eva stares at her. She doesn’t know what else to do. Finally, she manages to open her mouth, and mumbles, “I… I thought… it was a dream.”

Nikki’s brow furrows. “What did you think was a dream? The surgery?”

“Saving you.”

Her mouth twitches in such a way that Eva isn’t sure whether it’s a smile or a frown, both pained and fond. Eva is the first one to look away, overwhelmed and ashamed.

Nikki moves out of view again, but her hand slips into Eva’s, squeezes gently.

All she can think is that she doesn’t deserve this, as everything blurs to grey.

**Author's Note:**

> written by the wonderful littlelamplight/small edits by wishfulthinkment


End file.
